Category Archives: HELL NO

Artwork fail (Aiden Grimshaw does it again)

This is the cover art of Misty Eye, Aiden Grimshaw’s debut album released on August 12th. Finding Aiden himself on it is a bit like Where’s Wally?, but without the fun:

Aiden, we get it . You don’t want to be judged superficially, you’re a real artiste etc. But nobody casually picking this up in Tesco can even tell whether you’re black, white, beige, chola descent, Lebanese or orient. Having no identity as your identity results in, erm…no identity.

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Artwork fail: ‘Power & Control’ by Marina and the Diamonds

Oh Marina, Marina – you were doing so well. Electra Heart is probably going to be the best pop album of 2012, unless Siobhan Donaghy decides to magically grace us with a new solo offering. Everything about this campaign has been perfect – the production, the lyrics and the artwork, all merging together to create a cohesive take on the whole “faded Lynchian Hollywood septia” theme. And then you had to give us this:

Bored? Exhausted? Dead?

Frankly unimpressed love. Still, it’s a damn good choice for single #2:

Release ‘Teen Idle’ next, and all will be forgiven.

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Artwork fail: Paloma Faith is back and she’s not a happy bunny

It’s not looking like the best of days for the ‘New York’ warbler:

Perhaps she’s just seen what her hair looks like in a mirror. ‘Picking Up The Pieces’ is the first single taken from Ms Faith’s new album Fall To Grace released on 28th May. Apparently the legendary Nellee Hooper has produced it, which bodes extremely well.

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Artwork fail from Cascada

The following image is allegedly the cover of the new Cascada album:

Natalie Horler has obviously been kidnapped by evil dolphins who have amputated her toes and forced her to live underwater with them – that’s the only logical explanation for this album’s artwork. It’s released on April 13th while new single ‘Summer of Love’ is already out if you’re lucky enough to live in Germany.

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Oh Ashanti…

Did Beyoncé tell you that this was a good idea?

While the whole idea of “getting excited about an Ashanti album” does make you wonder if you’ve been walloped on the head and woken up trapped in 2003, I’ve had high-ish hopes about Walmart Bey’s comeback. But this artwork? JESUS WEPT. Forehead weave braiding? BLUE lipstick? RuPaul would send this mess home if it appeared on ‘Drag Race. She hasn’t released anything since 2008, but the new single ‘The Woman You Love’ with Busta Rhymes is a serviceable bit of R&B, reminding you why once upon a time this lady was able to shift 504,000 albums during her first week in the US alone, granting her a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records. She might not be able to deliver that any more, especially as she’s now on her own label but the music remains promising. Just sort out the visual shit, you look worse than when you were pecked to death by zombie crows in Resident Evil Extinction.

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